Church Kids

This is what I spend my Wednesday nights doing.  I don't know what age boys start to hate having their picture made, but it sure isn't the 6 - 8 years old sector of humanity.  After years of teaching I can only surmise that  every boy in grades 1 - 3 are natural-born comedians.

And the child below in the cap is from my Sunday morning class.  However, I can't take the credit for this. It was taken at our Kid's Christmas Party.  When future girlfriends are shown this pic, he will not be able to blame it on Miz-a-Ree.

That's actually what the little beginners used to call me. They tried to say "Mrs. Marie" and it just came out "Mizaree".  On rare days, the title was quite appropriate; misery was there. But helping the kids at church grow spiritually over the years has been one of my greatest blessings.  It's absolutely amazing how much kids can understand about God.........

And, yes, this is another one of my boys on Sunday morning. I did not give him whatever that is he's trying to blind himself with. But if I could think of a way to integrate it into the lesson I would most definitely do it.

testing

Wow! I haven't posted in a while because my desktop was not cooperating with me! It would let me do everything but a new post. I decided to come check out some blogs I follow and decided to try one more time to do a new post. Miracle time! Shazam! Whoopee! So far, so good. Now let's see if I can actually post this. Testing..1...2...3....

Confessions of a Granny Panty Wearer

I guess I must confess that for a few years I have been a "Granny Panty" subscriber. White is the only color I buy because frankly I am just too lazy to worry about matching panties to slacks and dresses. White truly does go with everything. You need 2 pair of black on the off chance that your black slacks wear thin. Taking these white monstrosities out of the dryer, I have often wondered why the elastic often frays so quickly. If you also are a Granny Panty wearer you know what I am talking about. It's those little elastic strings that appear sometime around the third washing and drying. Every time I reach in and start to fold a pair I forget that you absolutely cannot pull these little stringy thingies off. If you do you will either snap your finger when the elastic stringy thingy breaks or you will make the waistline of your panties look so bad you have to put them in the throw-a-way pile on top of your dryer. (this pile deserves it's own blog post) Anyway, I thought I would let you know that I have discovered what makes these waistbands fray so quickly. It was truly a light bulb moment. I was sitting on the toilet and reached to keep my panties from slipping off my knees to the floor. Up I pulled them and widened my knee span in order to hold them up. I realized that if I stretch them like this six or seven times a day it is bound to wear out the elastic. So now I'm going to test my theory out. I will buy new granny panties and make sure I keep them above the knee where they belong. If it works I will probably get to be buried in one of the new ones cause you know Hanes never wear out.

It's Christmas time already?

I went to the old "let's kill some time while Hunka Hunka Burning Love channel surfs" website. You know the one - you're just going to check out a few things and before you know it you've lost 3 hours of your life. That's right!! PINTEREST!!!! I really wonder what I did before I discovered how to totally waste away my life looking at what other people cook, create, and craft. Guess what I discovered? It's Christmastime, pretty baby. Yeah, baby. We skipped right over July 4th and now we will plunge into collecting Christmas ideas. (I have quite a nice Christmas Board or two, if I do say so myself) We will take a small break in November to figure out how to make turkeys out of handprints for Thanksgiving. But you really should start on your Christmas crafts right now and have your Christmas deco up by the end of October. Just work your fall and Thanksgiving decorations onto surfaces like your dining table or maybe a TV tray or two, so you can zip them right back in the box as quick as a wink. I'm not kidding, ladies. If you're reading this blog you are wasting valuable time. Get cracking on your Christmas boards. Just when you think you've seen it all there will be a post of a snowman you modge podge to the front of your lovebird's undies. You can guess what serves as the carrot nose.

Seven Days of Sex

Well, as usual, Bob was flipping zippity, dippity through the channnels during a commercial the other night and settled on the TV guide channel. I have learned that men do this just to make sure they have not been bamboozled into watching an inferior program. I really have no idea what might be inferior to Swamp People, Gator Hunters, Warring over Storage Buildings, Pawning So I Can Gamble In Vegas, and Really Strange Looking Exterminators. (I have actually formed an attachment to the Exterminator and the Duck Dynasty, but that's our little secret.) Anyway, my Sweetie calls me into his viewing area and says "Wait until the channels flip through again and check out this show on Lifetime." And I must admit that I was intrigued. The name of the show was Seven Days of Sex. It seems the premise is that you can fix your marital problems by having sex seven days in a row. I was a little leary of having a conversation on this topic. I assumed the love of my life that I have known for for over 35 years was going to suggest that at our advanced age we should get with the program. But there was nothing to fear because this was his take on the show: "Maybe they ought to try for Sex one Day a Week for Seven Weeks - or One Day a Month for Seven Months - or even One Time a Year for Seven Years. You have to love such a romantic soul as that. But I will say that one of those programs has definitely helped us through 33 years of wedded bliss. (But most likely it has just been his sense of humor cause he gets these really, really cute laughlines at his eyes when he laughs.)

You call it what??!!

You insert your contacts and right away you groan and moan because you feel a tiny fleck of crap(that's the technical term for anything until you know for sure what it is) in your eye and you try the old "rub it and roll it" out of the corner of your eye. It keeps aggravating you and you go to the bathroom to see if you can do a better job destroying the alien in your eye by looking in a mirror. WHOA!!! How did this happen? Seems it should take longer than 2 minutes for your eye to go from it's normal reddish look......Okay, let me digress; the kids back in the day said I had stoner eyes because of their red appearance - Now I'm told they got this way because they have been deprived of oxygen for long periods; all those days I slept to noon might be the culprit...... to an eye that looks like red jello! I know right away this is what the Doc will diagnose as pink eye. And that's just what he did, along with double ear infections and sinusitus. So here I am seven days and four prescriptions later and it doesn't feel like a little piece of crap in my eye anymore. It feels like the sandman left sandpaper in my eyes and I've had to wear the roughness down blink by slimy blink. I've taken Zpak for the sinus, pills for the fever and eye pain, drops for the ears and drops and more drops for the eyes. Now we're ADDING more pills and drinking buttermilk for the swollen tonsils and white patches. I must admit the sandpaper has worn down pretty well and the drainage is bearable unless I try to read (and let me just say that there is no way to adjust your glasses where the letters come into focus with pink eyes) or look at the computer screen. I can also walk from my bed to the bathromm with my eyes glued shut. I don't know when this will completely clear up...I've read on the internet maybe 2 to 3 weeks. I pray not! And please join me in that prayer. The only thing I can't figure out is WHY DO THEY CALL THIS PINK EYES? IT'S RED EYES!!And I've got pictures to prove it.

Do I diet?

To look at me you would probably think that I never diet or try to eat healthy. WRONG!! I've done such a good job of eating healthy that I've lost 3 lbs. in six months. The nurse at the doctor's office was impressed. (You can probably picture in your mind how big she was!). I have to confess that my regular intake of calories is pretty high, but when I go all out and get exactly the snack I'm craving the calorie count can explode. The best snack ever is one Snickers Candy Bar, one bag of Ranch Doritos, and one 20oz Pepsi. I was having this glorious snack (first time in over a year) on the way home from the doctor's office yesterday. Remembering that I had lost 3 lbs, I decided to add up the calories in my "Super Snack. One snickers, 240 calories, one 20 oz. Pepsi, 250 calories, and one bag of Ranch Doritos, 525 calories. Total intake: 1015 calories. I decided to leave an ounce of Pepsi in the bottle and a few chips in the bottom of the bag; surely I was on diabetic/heart attack/obesity overload. And I realized that if I was on a 1200 calorie a day diet there would only be 185 calories left for the remainder of the day. And while it did take 45 minutes to eat this particular snack (compared to my usual 5 minutes to consume a bowl of Blue Bell) it made me think about what the life lesson was in this and how I should apply it to my life. My solution - go ahead and finish the bottle of Pepsi and the bag of chips - what's another 60 calories? Life is short. And snacks make life super good.

Worthy is the Lamb

Easter Sunday our choir sang "Worthy is the Lamb"; a super awesome song by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. Later, as we traveled to my sister's home I was singing the song and remarked to my sweet hubby "I could sing that song forever" and as soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized that one eternal day I will do exactly that. Just listen to these words: Thank You for the cross, Lord. Thank You for the price You paid. Bearing all my sin and shame, in love You came and gave amazing grace. Thank You for this love, Lord--- Thank You for the nail-pierced hands; Washed me in Your cleansing flow. now all I know is Your forgiveness and embrace. Worthy is the Lamb,, seated on the throne. We crown you now with many crowns, You reign victorious. High and lifted up---Jesus, Son of God, the treasure of heaven crucified; Worthy is the Lamb, Worthy is the Lamb, Worthy is the Lamb

Tonight's story is a bit off color. But let me set the scene. Picture me curled up with my legs under me as I cradle my sweet, sleeping grandbaby in my arms. I know the rest of you never do this, but sometimes I pass gas, cut the cheese, step on a barking spider, or toot. I do not fart. That is most unladylike. Tonight was such a night. I blew a toot. I did this while in the above mentioned position. There was just no time to uncurl my legs, throw down the baby and make haste to the bathroom. (You know that's what I always do when the barking spider wants to howl.) My sweet, dear husband, who is a smidge hearing-impaired, asked "Was that her?" Being the super example of grandmother and loving wife that I am I told him "yes". I don't know what was funnier - that he couldn't hear how obviously loud the toot really was(it was just like my Mama's if that helps you picture it better)....or funny because he thought our grandbaby was capable of a "tooter-rooter" (that's what I call her toots cause she is so cute even her toots have to have a cute name)of that duration and sound quality. I did confess and set the record straight after enjoying the look of proud amazement on his face. Oh, the things we grandparents can be proud of.

pinterest

I decided to look on Pinterest and check out my recipe board. Surely I could find something on there that I could fix for our supper. And lo and behold, I did have lots and lots of recipes on there that looked amazingly good. But, alas, if I want something besides chicken or potatoes I will have to pull out the old cookbooks. I have recipes for fried chicken, baked chicken, cheesy chicken, cornflake chicken, chicken this and chicken that. I can crunchy up potatoes, cover'em with Ranch dressing, bake them twice, fill'em with cheese, slice them this way and that. However, if I want something tasty to go with my chick and tater I will have to expand my horizons. Wait a minute - problem solved - I just remembered I have a desserts board. That's one of the food groups isn't it? Well, it should be the number one major food group. Just saying........

Morning View

This is the church behind my house.  Can you see what type animal is perching on the roof and the steeple?  That's right - our friendly neighborhood buzzards.  This is only about half of the group that gathered to worship every morning last week. All three peaks were covered.  (they may be there again this week, but I'm scared they have moved to my rooftop so I haven't checked.)
Everyone that sees it (myself included) made the remark, "Reckon that's a sign of a dead church?"
 Bob, (my better 3/4) , however, made this astute remark from his endless source of trivial knowledge: "They are standing in the light, absorbing it's warmth, before taking flight and starting their day. "
 They are indeed all facing the sunrise.
Even I can get the spiritual lesson from this one. 

So this week I'm starting each day with scripture and a prayer and I can testify that I am indeed  feeling the heat.

Nothing New Here

It's finally happened. I can't find anything new that interests me to post on Pinterest. I wonder if it's time that I look at my boards and actually cook a recipe or make one of the crafts I've collected. BaaaaHaaaa.... Does anybody really do that?  The only thing I've tried is cooking bacon in the oven instead of frying it in a skillet.  Turned out OK, but I had to cook it 20 minutes longer than mentioned.  My oven is gas so that could have made a difference, but it really doesn't matter cause it was bacon - and raw bacon is the only type of bacon that tastes bad.  Come to think of it, I've never tried raw bacon...................Hmmmm.....

See you, later.

Peace and Quiet - BaaHaa.....

I've been cooped up all week so we thought it would be nice to get out in the country on this beautiful day and enjoy the peace and quiet; look around at God's beautiful world, listen to the birds and watch the turtles sunning on the logs.  It was a great game plan.
However, the owners of the cabin also decided to come out and play at the pond today.  With 10 of their friends and all the hammers and saws they could find.  It seems their cabin needed a new upper deck over its little porch. And you can't work in the country without playing country music so loud you have to shout to one another to carry on a conversation.
Oh, and you also need to bring the loudest four wheelers you can find so your teenagers will have something to do. Round and round the pond we go - turn around and go round and round the other way for awhile. Repeat this process for THREE HOURS!
The Good Lord above is probably the only one who knows why they didn't bring all their howling dogs.
But we enjoyed it anyway - and the house has been super quiet all night. NOT!!
Bob is getting a "cold". This causes a lot of sniffling and clearing of mucus from the throat. It's a definite concentration breaker. That means that my Sunday School lesson will be studied after he goes to bed.
Poor me. My life is so hard.

Hands Off!

I JUST LOOKED AT MY BLOG PICTURE - WHEN THE HECK DID MY HANDS GET THAT OLD?  NEXT TIME AROUND IT WILL BE "HANDS OFF" WHEN THE CAMERA FLASHES!!

And by the way, the creek didn't rise, but I didn't get to go to Zumba last night because evidently I pulled a groin muscle.  That's what it feels like and I'm sticking to that story. 

Check on me Saturday

If you read this before Saturday, please remember to call and make sure I am still alive.
Pray for me brothers and sisters. I have agreed to go to Zumba with a friend!
She has invited me several times and Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise (which I hear it might if we get lots of rain tomorrow) I will meet her at 7pm.  If it rains that much surely it will be God telling me to stay home from such foolishness as exercise.
 I told her I wasn't all that interested in losing weight. But I won't be an Indian Giver if that occurs.  Neither will I go looking for the lost weight. 
 I just need to gain some flexibility. 
No, not for gardening and yardwork - but that would be great; it would be nice this spring not to hear the new neighbors laughing at me scooting along on my butt to weed and plant just because it's too much trouble to stand up and walk.
No, not for housework, but it would be nice to clean the tub and not have to use the toilet as a brace to stand up.  (You may not know this, but toilet seats have a little jiggle to them that can land you right back where you started from).
No, not for the bedroom, but that would be really, really, really nice. To help me make up the bed, what else? Have you seen this kingsize monstrosity we sleep in?
The reason I need flexibility is because I don't want to have to call Bob anymore to come help me stand up when I sit in the floor to play with Adelyn.  One of  these days I'm going to get down by her bouncy seat or playmat and forget that Bob has gone somewhere. I will be paralyzed from my waist to my cross-legged knees and find myself trapped in a grandparenting dilemma.  And that will probably be the day little Reecy Piece starts crawling and when Bob finally gets home to pull me up we find her eating dustbunnies under the bed. (Hey, I told you I have trouble making the bed, do you think I'm flexible enough to vacuum under there?)
In times past I was flexible enough to roll over on my hands and knees and get to the couch and pull myself up. But the carpet made that possible.  Hard flooring is not for knee-walking.
 But there's more than one way to skin a cat. Or always more than one solution to a problem.
I guess if the Zumba doesn't work I can start keeping a water bottle and snack attached to all her floor toys just in case I get stranded.

Whew Wee!!!

Thought I would share this today - it was a post on facebook from my best friend. She is a nurse at a local doctor's office. 

Carolyn Gatlin

So, a patient called today wondering if his head had been stopped up so long that it would cause it to stink when it started coming out. A couple of hours later when I called him back he said, "I got to thinking... I only smelled the bad smell when I walked outside. My nose had been stopped up so long that I forgot what the chicken house smelled like. That was what I was smelling."