Church Kids

This is what I spend my Wednesday nights doing.  I don't know what age boys start to hate having their picture made, but it sure isn't the 6 - 8 years old sector of humanity.  After years of teaching I can only surmise that  every boy in grades 1 - 3 are natural-born comedians.

And the child below in the cap is from my Sunday morning class.  However, I can't take the credit for this. It was taken at our Kid's Christmas Party.  When future girlfriends are shown this pic, he will not be able to blame it on Miz-a-Ree.

That's actually what the little beginners used to call me. They tried to say "Mrs. Marie" and it just came out "Mizaree".  On rare days, the title was quite appropriate; misery was there. But helping the kids at church grow spiritually over the years has been one of my greatest blessings.  It's absolutely amazing how much kids can understand about God.........

And, yes, this is another one of my boys on Sunday morning. I did not give him whatever that is he's trying to blind himself with. But if I could think of a way to integrate it into the lesson I would most definitely do it.

testing

Wow! I haven't posted in a while because my desktop was not cooperating with me! It would let me do everything but a new post. I decided to come check out some blogs I follow and decided to try one more time to do a new post. Miracle time! Shazam! Whoopee! So far, so good. Now let's see if I can actually post this. Testing..1...2...3....

Confessions of a Granny Panty Wearer

I guess I must confess that for a few years I have been a "Granny Panty" subscriber. White is the only color I buy because frankly I am just too lazy to worry about matching panties to slacks and dresses. White truly does go with everything. You need 2 pair of black on the off chance that your black slacks wear thin. Taking these white monstrosities out of the dryer, I have often wondered why the elastic often frays so quickly. If you also are a Granny Panty wearer you know what I am talking about. It's those little elastic strings that appear sometime around the third washing and drying. Every time I reach in and start to fold a pair I forget that you absolutely cannot pull these little stringy thingies off. If you do you will either snap your finger when the elastic stringy thingy breaks or you will make the waistline of your panties look so bad you have to put them in the throw-a-way pile on top of your dryer. (this pile deserves it's own blog post) Anyway, I thought I would let you know that I have discovered what makes these waistbands fray so quickly. It was truly a light bulb moment. I was sitting on the toilet and reached to keep my panties from slipping off my knees to the floor. Up I pulled them and widened my knee span in order to hold them up. I realized that if I stretch them like this six or seven times a day it is bound to wear out the elastic. So now I'm going to test my theory out. I will buy new granny panties and make sure I keep them above the knee where they belong. If it works I will probably get to be buried in one of the new ones cause you know Hanes never wear out.

It's Christmas time already?

I went to the old "let's kill some time while Hunka Hunka Burning Love channel surfs" website. You know the one - you're just going to check out a few things and before you know it you've lost 3 hours of your life. That's right!! PINTEREST!!!! I really wonder what I did before I discovered how to totally waste away my life looking at what other people cook, create, and craft. Guess what I discovered? It's Christmastime, pretty baby. Yeah, baby. We skipped right over July 4th and now we will plunge into collecting Christmas ideas. (I have quite a nice Christmas Board or two, if I do say so myself) We will take a small break in November to figure out how to make turkeys out of handprints for Thanksgiving. But you really should start on your Christmas crafts right now and have your Christmas deco up by the end of October. Just work your fall and Thanksgiving decorations onto surfaces like your dining table or maybe a TV tray or two, so you can zip them right back in the box as quick as a wink. I'm not kidding, ladies. If you're reading this blog you are wasting valuable time. Get cracking on your Christmas boards. Just when you think you've seen it all there will be a post of a snowman you modge podge to the front of your lovebird's undies. You can guess what serves as the carrot nose.

Seven Days of Sex

Well, as usual, Bob was flipping zippity, dippity through the channnels during a commercial the other night and settled on the TV guide channel. I have learned that men do this just to make sure they have not been bamboozled into watching an inferior program. I really have no idea what might be inferior to Swamp People, Gator Hunters, Warring over Storage Buildings, Pawning So I Can Gamble In Vegas, and Really Strange Looking Exterminators. (I have actually formed an attachment to the Exterminator and the Duck Dynasty, but that's our little secret.) Anyway, my Sweetie calls me into his viewing area and says "Wait until the channels flip through again and check out this show on Lifetime." And I must admit that I was intrigued. The name of the show was Seven Days of Sex. It seems the premise is that you can fix your marital problems by having sex seven days in a row. I was a little leary of having a conversation on this topic. I assumed the love of my life that I have known for for over 35 years was going to suggest that at our advanced age we should get with the program. But there was nothing to fear because this was his take on the show: "Maybe they ought to try for Sex one Day a Week for Seven Weeks - or One Day a Month for Seven Months - or even One Time a Year for Seven Years. You have to love such a romantic soul as that. But I will say that one of those programs has definitely helped us through 33 years of wedded bliss. (But most likely it has just been his sense of humor cause he gets these really, really cute laughlines at his eyes when he laughs.)

You call it what??!!

You insert your contacts and right away you groan and moan because you feel a tiny fleck of crap(that's the technical term for anything until you know for sure what it is) in your eye and you try the old "rub it and roll it" out of the corner of your eye. It keeps aggravating you and you go to the bathroom to see if you can do a better job destroying the alien in your eye by looking in a mirror. WHOA!!! How did this happen? Seems it should take longer than 2 minutes for your eye to go from it's normal reddish look......Okay, let me digress; the kids back in the day said I had stoner eyes because of their red appearance - Now I'm told they got this way because they have been deprived of oxygen for long periods; all those days I slept to noon might be the culprit...... to an eye that looks like red jello! I know right away this is what the Doc will diagnose as pink eye. And that's just what he did, along with double ear infections and sinusitus. So here I am seven days and four prescriptions later and it doesn't feel like a little piece of crap in my eye anymore. It feels like the sandman left sandpaper in my eyes and I've had to wear the roughness down blink by slimy blink. I've taken Zpak for the sinus, pills for the fever and eye pain, drops for the ears and drops and more drops for the eyes. Now we're ADDING more pills and drinking buttermilk for the swollen tonsils and white patches. I must admit the sandpaper has worn down pretty well and the drainage is bearable unless I try to read (and let me just say that there is no way to adjust your glasses where the letters come into focus with pink eyes) or look at the computer screen. I can also walk from my bed to the bathromm with my eyes glued shut. I don't know when this will completely clear up...I've read on the internet maybe 2 to 3 weeks. I pray not! And please join me in that prayer. The only thing I can't figure out is WHY DO THEY CALL THIS PINK EYES? IT'S RED EYES!!And I've got pictures to prove it.

Do I diet?

To look at me you would probably think that I never diet or try to eat healthy. WRONG!! I've done such a good job of eating healthy that I've lost 3 lbs. in six months. The nurse at the doctor's office was impressed. (You can probably picture in your mind how big she was!). I have to confess that my regular intake of calories is pretty high, but when I go all out and get exactly the snack I'm craving the calorie count can explode. The best snack ever is one Snickers Candy Bar, one bag of Ranch Doritos, and one 20oz Pepsi. I was having this glorious snack (first time in over a year) on the way home from the doctor's office yesterday. Remembering that I had lost 3 lbs, I decided to add up the calories in my "Super Snack. One snickers, 240 calories, one 20 oz. Pepsi, 250 calories, and one bag of Ranch Doritos, 525 calories. Total intake: 1015 calories. I decided to leave an ounce of Pepsi in the bottle and a few chips in the bottom of the bag; surely I was on diabetic/heart attack/obesity overload. And I realized that if I was on a 1200 calorie a day diet there would only be 185 calories left for the remainder of the day. And while it did take 45 minutes to eat this particular snack (compared to my usual 5 minutes to consume a bowl of Blue Bell) it made me think about what the life lesson was in this and how I should apply it to my life. My solution - go ahead and finish the bottle of Pepsi and the bag of chips - what's another 60 calories? Life is short. And snacks make life super good.