BURYING MY KILLER INSTINCT

A few weeks back my sweet Hunka Hunka and I went to Luverne

 (that's pronounced loo verne, not la verne) to have lunch with my sister. 

 

On an  aside: We can count this lunch as community service or a good Christian deed since she had spent several days in the hospital with her mother-in-law. (just in case God needs reminding of our good deeds and will reward us when we reach a certain level of points.)

 Yes, I know that joke might be offensive to some of you, but it was still a little bit funny.

 

Back to the story. My lovely sister picked Subway for lunch. Great choice; close by and you could have a sandwich or a salad.  We're chattering on and on and occasionally even letting Hunka Hunka have a say as we work down the line, choose our bread, choose our cheese, hot or cold? Then we notice the super slender, young, nose-earringed and in a tank top with tattoos in various places guy in front of us. He's ordered a footlong sandwich and is piling on everything in the display. That sandwich looked thicker than one out of a commercial. Seriously!  It was so thick the man fixing the sandwich could hardly close the top over. He could have definitely used some of those thick, thick rubberbands  to hold it together. Lovely sister starts a conversation with him. He must be hungry, going to eat lunch and dinner (cause they don't eat supper where she comes from)

 from one sandwich, etc. Da, De, Da, De, Da

 

On an side: I'm thinking he must be feeding a family of four somewhere and that's tells you how big the sandwich was because ya'll know I can eat humongous amounts of food at one sitting.

 

Back to the story: The nice young man replies back (and this is where I have to look way, deep down inside myself and find the strength to bury my killer instincts). He says it's all for him. He will eat the whole, entire sandwich himself at one sitting and be hungry again in less than TWO, yes, I said TWO hours. He will then eat again every two hours and probably wake up during the night hungry. He eats 5,000 calories a day, at least. He has a very high metabolism, he never gains any weight,

he wishes he could gain weight.

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

 

On an aside: Now do you think it would have been wrong of me to kill him on the spot? Just swat him like a fly and grind him underfoot? I didn't know there were people with this problem out there and I sure as heck didn't know they considered it a problem!

 

Back to the story: We managed smiles (this was not hard for lovely sister as she is a much nicer person than the writer) as he left with his 7 lb. sandwich.  But I thought of this young man last night as I read this quote on Pinterest (and if you don't know what Pinterest is you have my sincere congratulations on being a person that actually does things instead of collecting pictures of what everyone else is doing. I have quite a collection of what everyone else out there is doing).

 

THE QUOTE: MEN THINK THAT ALL WOMEN WANT A GOOD-LOOKING SUPER RICH MAN TO MARRY. WHAT WE REALLY WANT IS TO EAT ALL WE WANT WITHOUT GAINING WEIGHT.

 

Can I get an Amen, sisters?